I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I want to fling myself into the sun
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
i out mim tonsoeep
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
