You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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