I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
