Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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