What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
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I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
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When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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