You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
