If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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