I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
