The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
