I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
