you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
