people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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