I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
