is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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