all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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