ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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