dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
