Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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