He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
