its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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