my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
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