That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
