oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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