at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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