i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
