I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
