Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
