Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
