Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
