Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
