White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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