Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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