the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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