chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
