So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
