kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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