Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
