I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Randomize
