if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
