Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize