You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
