yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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