he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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