so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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