have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Alive.
So much puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize