i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
