The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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