Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize