Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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