East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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