She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
