I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize