I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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