College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
All the doctor said was why
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
