I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
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What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
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Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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