apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
