Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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