Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
