she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
