so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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