There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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