lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
