I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
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