It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
